Grammy's Part DOS

7:00 Hailey Williams. Um ew. Bad hair color w/ skirt combo. So ew.

7:02 Why is Eva Longoria there? Why does she always bore me on the red carpet?

7:05 ooooo Kim K. Looks like a trophy. Hello boobies. Whatever- she always looks like herself. Nothing to say. Lets just call it Bebe Couture. Oo Rob looks hot. Ooooo really hot. Yum.

7:09 Amber Riley. Get it girl. I think it’s see through. FIERCE. Diana Agron. Um dark, fierce, I have no words? I fall in love with her more each day. In fact, I think she will be my valentine this year. THOSE EARRINGS.

CYNDI LAUPER. She is a god. Seriously, a god.

7:14 Ricky Martin hasn’t aged he’s a yummy yummy precious gay man.

7:14 Mya- boring. Don’t like the hair/earring combo.

7:14 Julianne Hough- Ok. Fine. I’ll hop on the bandwagon she’s f-ing hot.

7:15 Oh hello Swizz Beatz. Gold studded leopard print jacket? Husband if you are out there reading this….I like a man that can pull this kind of shit off.

7:17 Nina whatever from Glee. Ehhhh ok. Not in love with it but her face and makeup look beeeeautiful.

7:18 Sara Barallas- I mean. I love her whatever. She looks pretty.

7:24 Ohhhh Willow Smith you little nugget of perfect. “I just feel like when people hear my song it changes their lives” Yes Willow, it really did.

7:25 Ryan just forced Miley and Willow Smith to hug. It was bad. Miley got fat. Hate the light brown hair. TOO MUCH SIDE BOOB. Contain yourself lady.

7:29 Adam Labert. I don’t care.

7:30 OHHHHH JLO. You look like a disco ball you hot beautiful mamacita. Something about American Idol has totally transformed her image for me and she knocked the ball out of the part with this outfit. Not obsessed with the hair but I mean…..COULD I DIE? I want those shoes. GLITTER ME THIS WINNER OF THE NIGHT THUS FAR.

7:33 I think Moulin Rouge being on TV today has re-energized my love for Nicole Kidman. She looks beautiful.

7:34 Did Diddy get a little fat and get a new grill?

7:35 KATY PERRY’S GRANDMA HAS A BEJEWELED CAN. I’m hyperventilating. Literally dying. I love how their outfits are all a little coordinated.

I love what Katy is wearing. Fabric is tacky but like what the hell ever. Oh boy do I love it you little sparkle angel you.

AND I QUOTE "Even if i don't get a Grammy I get to go home with my Grammy"

BOOM.

Grammy's Part UNO

Welcome to my first attempt at live blogging from the red carpet. Aka me on my couch with my computer and a bag of tostitos. Let's begin shall we??!

6:03 Gaga is arriving in a silver bean pod. What if she doesn’t get out of the bean pod and that is her costume.

Pod. By Guitillier.

6:05 Ciara looks like superwoman trying to resurrect her career.

6:06 I wish I thought Matthew Morrison was hot- it would make things so much more interesting. He always just looks like a Muppet to me.

6:07 Miranda Lambert- obviously I love the sparkles. Country artists always look like predicable pretty beauty queens. Kinda boring.

6:15 Florence from the Machine. I mean, Bjork-esque. Weird-cut but pretty color on her. Hoping for different hair for her performance.

6:16 Monica- martian? Didn’t even know she was still around.

6:20 Kelly orsborne has looked better I don’t like the color on her and her hair is starting to look Britney-esque.

6:23 Looking at Lenny Kravitz is like looking at an eclipse. He literally could blind someone with his hotness.

6:24 Martina Mcbride. Eh. Boring. Moving on.

6:30 Kathy Griffin- um hello perfect dress on you. Perfect color. Cut. Glitter. Boom. Hollllaaaaaa.

6:32 Nikki Monage YES YES YES YES YES YESEYSSSSSS kasjdflakjflafj. I love this insane bitch. She half annoys me half intrigues me. Bride of Frankenstein meets her already amazing reportaire of hair-insanity. Ohhh my god. I just realized that the leopard on her head is not a head piece its part of the actual hair. God she’s ridiculous. And love the lip color. But sometimes….I don’t actually want to hear her talk. Seriously LOVE the lips.

6:34 Bruno Mars looks hot in his semi-creepy/semi-ricky ricardo way.

6:35 THE POD HAS OFFICIALLY MADE AN ENTRANCE.

ITS GOING TO OPEN. This is a performance. “She will not be born until her performance.” She’s been incubating. I repeat she is incubating. Now Ryan is attempting to interview her with the mic up next to the pod. “She is dilating. She has worked so hard this year and this performance will shift the world.”

I just puked in my mouth. I think I would’ve liked it without the creepy dialating womb descriptions from her publicist. Like you wanna be in a bean pod? Fine but just don’t talk and go down the carpet in foreboding silence. Moving on.

6:38 Ll cool J. Screw the suit, show me your abs.

6:40 La Roux. She’s my favsies so. It’s fine with me, its very her.

6:42 Oh god. First Jennifer Hudson sighting. Oh my god. She is 5lbs. Love her hair color. Can’t see the dress.

6:43 Jenna whatever her last name is- the Asian from Glee. Ok I think the first time in glee history I don’t hate what she’s wearing. I think it makes her puffiness look subduded. Good cut, pretty color. Moving on.

6:44 Ok Ciara on the 360 glam cam looks better than she does when she is moving around. I do like the hair.

6:50 Seeing JHudson’s dress. Damn girl she is looking so amazing. I’m really not into the whole shorter in the front longer in the back dress fad going on right now. I think the cut makes the material look a little cheap but good color. Good hair color. WEIGHT WATCHERS WORKS PEOPLE.

6:52 Selena Gomez. Um hello I didn't recognize her- when did she become an adult? Cheap-ish looking material and her boobs look weird but she's beatiful.

6:49 Who is Anna Nalick? I LOVE her dress. Who are you person?

6:51 Oh hello Chrystal Bowersox, nice seeing you you little cutie. You look beautiful.

6:55 Adam Levine looks the same as ever. Hot but predicable.

6:58 Jordan Sparks. I don't care and she looks bad. Whatever.

7:00 Julianna Ranic is verbally raping Donnie Walberg and it's making me uncomfortable.

7:01 John Mayer is legit on maaaajor drugs right now and it made me feel kinda weird.

7:03 Paz Vega. Who are you? That outfit is PERFECTION. P-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n.

GRAAAAAMMMMY'S WARM MY HEART. 2nd hour of red carpet coming soon. Ohhhh boy.

Happy Birthday Mama!!

Ohhh my Mama. Mama mama mama.

It's her birthday and she's so cute. A cute little mama.

For those of you who don't know her, Betsy "Texts from Bets" Wilinsky is about as adorable and sweet as they come. Yes, I might be partial but seriously she's one of those people that you just want to hug. Ok maaaybe I didn't want to hug her so much when I was 15 and in a perpetual state of adolescent moody gloom but now a-days...I'd do anything to be near her and try to braid her tiny hair.

It's really hard to be 3000 miles away from the people you love the most in the whole wide world. It's even harder when you're a daughter who isn't exactly known for her time management skills. Ok so fine, I'm not good at buying gifts on time. And ok fine, I'm even worse at actually sending the gifts I do buy. But the good intention is always there.

So because I'm still working on a painting I started last year for her birthday (it's really beautiful, I should show it to you when it's done in 2036) please allow me to take you on a virtual gift giving experience to the Mama we all know and love:

It's a tradition in the Wilinsky family to decorate our bedrooms with streamers for when we we wake up on the morning of our birthday. Well, my Dad is away on a fishing trip and I'm ohhhh a few thousand miles away so Mom....here are your streamers!! Dad posted a few pics of the apartment to his facebook but unfortunately none of them were of the bedroom. SO you can have a decorated kitchen!!! Which is so much more fun!! I also figured any streamer decoration party is better with throwback pictures from early 90s holiday cards and Sophie in a party hat. Yay!

Later tonight after we finish a yummy dinner of scallops and wine served to us by scantily clad hot man waiters (it's just me and you and your friends on this date, no boys) they'll bring out the dessert of bananas foster with a candle in it and we'll all sing to you.

Then we'd go home where Ben and Dad (and ok how about the rest of our family because this is a fantasy?) would be waiting with piles and piles of presents for you to unwrap! (Can you see them sitting there in the kitchen in the picture above? They're right next to Toddler Ben's arm)

Are you ready for your presents? We really went big this year! Our stocks did good...

1. I got you a private jet (with a full service bar and food menu obviously) so you can come visit me whenever you want to.

2. I bought you a golden retriever puppy for Sophie to play with that came fully potty trained and completely unable to eat shoes. It's a miracle!

3. I bought you a time machine to go back and hang out with baby me and Ben, but then you can time machine back home when you get sick of our whining.

4. I bought you a very very cold lemon drop martini, with the rind for you to eat.

5. I bought you an entire new closet of clothes. You're welcome.

6. I bought you a Jaguar convertible because it gets very hot in San Diego and you'd look very cute in it.

7. I bought you a girls trip to Tuscany with me. Because I want to go to Tuscany too.

8. I bought you a statement necklace because it can really add a little something extra to your wardrobe don't you think?

Ben got you some presents too!! Are you excited??!

1. I bought you a monster truck for your birthday because you are little and this car is big. It is also a Batman monster truck so that makes it better.

2. I bought you a diamond ring for your birthday because you like diamond rings and this one is very big and will look good on your nicely manicured hands.

3. I bought you Pillsbury's chocolate chip cookies for your birthday because you like it when I make chocolate chip cookies. But you only get three (one extra for your birthday) and I get the rest.

4. I'm buying you two snow cones for your birthday because two snow cones are better than one snow cone and it's hot there in San Diego.

5. I'm buying you a vineyard in Northern California for your birthday because you like to drink wine and I figured that I should just buy you an infinite supply of wine.

6. I'm buying you an X-Box 360 for your birthday because I like to play it so you might like it too?

7. I'm giving you a really good picture of myself for your birthday so that you can be with me all day on your birthday.

Now the real question is....WHAT IS DAD GETTING YOU??

Happy Birthday Mama!!!! We love you!!!!!

When I dip, you dip

Ah the glorious, glorious Super Bowl. That beautiful day of the year filled to the brim with dips and football and friends and more dips. We dipped to such a magnitude that I went to bed curled into a tight fetal position, so full and moaning so loudly. And yet... smiling in painful contentment.

(Steelers vs. Packers potato skins via Noble Pig. No, I didn't make them because I'm not completely disgusting but oh.my.god. this woman is ballsy.)

This year's Sunday o' Glory seemed to be better than normal. Maybe it was the actually good football game? Maybe it was the amazing food? Or maybe it was because I didn't have to leave my apartment or get out of my pajamas. (I didn't really mean for that to happen. About an hour into the party I realized I hadn't looked in the mirror all day...or put on a bra. WHOOPS.)

THE FOOD: because I know you're dying to know... the winning house guest of the night brought an out of this world homemade artichoke dip AND buffalo chicken/cheddar/blue cheese dip while the formidable contender brought the always classic and delicious Velveeta/Rotel crock pot sensation dip. At halftime we ushered in the "real food"- my buffalo chicken meatballs (SOOO good, snag the recipe HERE) and a fresh from the freezer batch of tater tots. We ended the meal of meals with chocolate chip cookies with an oreo center.

Moving on.

THE COMMERCIALS: At Casa de Wilinsky, we like to keep things entertaining so we made commercial score cards. Highly recommended fun for all. My favsies of the night:

Everyone's favorite, I love it too:

Phenomenal:

It's not very high on any best commercial list but I think it's hysterical. ECO ECO ECO.

Obvi loved it:

And my winner... someone please give the person who thought of this campaign an award. And I love the song.

THE PERFORMANCES:

Can we just talk about Christina for a minute? I hate her normally. Ever since she stopped wearing chaps and bad extensions, she's really lost her appeal but I was handing it to the sister on Sunday night. Her face seemed to be less puffy, her outfit looked nice and boy oh boy can that girl belt a tune. I was basically saying amen by the end of the song. Then Lyricpocolypse happened and that was that. It's the most watched game in the history of television, can't we all back off if she was a little nervous!? I never know the lyrics to songs! So what! Blah blah blah. And now there's a whole smear campaign about how she's spiraling out of control and she's a drunk. Come on people! She sounded great! Can't we please move on? Don't worry Christina, I got your back.

Besides the horrible, horrible quality of audio...I was very pleasantly surprised with the halftime show. Good use of space, great cameo's, great song selection. I stayed entertained, I danced, I sang. And while I still pine for the days of MTV-produced Britney Spears dance numbers and nipple slips, this felt like the good ole days were back and I was sincerely happy about it.

But let's be honest, it was probably just Fergie's diamond encrusted football pad costume that got me all excited- if I got to wear sparkles, I'd totally play more sports.

Braless host+ tater tots = IS THIS WHY I'M SO POPULAR?

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

Ok ok ok I know it's been a whole lotta videos lately and not a whole lotta talking.

This makes some of you very angry with me. I KNOW. I pretend I can't feel your anger seeping through the computer screen and staring into my soul. So I close my eyes and plug my ears and....post a bunch of videos.

I promised myself I wouldn't post anymore videos until I wrote a real wordy post. But I often break my self-promises (like learning to play the guitar, piano, riding a bike with no hands, solving a rubik's cube...just to name a few of my life failures).

Sometime I'll tell you the story of why I quit piano. It's a real doozy that involves Cherry Coke, incessant burping and a grossly overweight teacher. But that's for another day.

I am posting this video as a way to show my undying love for the band Destiny's Child (RIP) and my rapidly increasing excitement for SUNDAY.

My Sunday excitement scale:

the actual football game

making this

watching the new GLEE

And because I know the people that read my blog are the kind of people that wouldn't mind also watching the orig Bills Bills Bills vid:

Ok no more videos for a while. Maybe.

You be the judge Vol. 3

VS.

Living in a snowglobe.

Let's just throw it out there...this snow thing is getting old. It's cold! and wet! and those puddles! Puddles, puddles, puddles and more puddles. Oh, you know the puddles? The puddles that are filled with that street salt that leave those white lines of doom on all of my shoes?

I hear all of my favorite shoes calling out from my closet like long lost friends "pleaseeee wear me, I'm so cute!" and I say with a sigh "no cutie shoes, there are still those salt puddles" then I put on my stupid clunky rainboots and clump, haphazardly, around town.

However much I'm sick of the cold! and the wet! and the salt puddles! seeing Manhattan under a fresh 12 inches of white powder was enough to take my breath away. I literally gasped when I left my apartment. The world felt beautiful and fresh and clean. I wish this picture captured it better:

Ironically (and hilariously) the same day as our pretty little blizzard in NYC, the temple where my mom works in San Diego had a "snow day" of their own. They brought in fake snow and in the 75 degree weather dressed the preschool kids up for a blizzard. Please just look at these adorable babies all ready for their snowday:

Our blizzard:

San Diego blizzard:

New York kids:

San Diego kids:

I think you get the point. I bet my parent's don't have to deal with the damn puddles.