Glitt'a

Today, Perez Hilton's "Quote of the Day" was from Ke$ha. I generally have hated Ke$ha in the past. She is scary looking and she kinda makes me uncomfortable and itchy all at the same time. This quote makes me uncomfortable and itchy but...I might be starting to like her?

“It doesn’t go anywhere. I’ve tried to get it off, but then I just reapply, so it seems relatively pointless. After about the third show I ever played, I was like, '%@*# it.' You might as well just learn to love it. I’ve found glitter anywhere a person could find glitter. I’ve choked on glitter. I found it behind the backs of my eyelids. Even in my food, in my beer. It clogs my shower after every show. There’s glitter in my piss. It’s so gross.”

- Ke$ha on, what else, her undying love for glitter

Dear Ke$ha, it's not gross...it's amazing.

Flashback Friday

To make amends for my 2 week gap in posting...I present to you my professional graduation pictures. My friend Ashley's parents found them in her bedroom and sent them to her. She was ever gracious to them and has since put them all on the fridge.

WHY OH WHY DO WE TAKE PROFESSIONAL GRAD PICTURES AND DISTRIBUTE THEM LIKE TRADING CARDS???

I think we still have a bunch left over so if you would like a copy for your wallet or fridge (or both) please send all requests to my mom directly at: danny3451@aol.com

Glitt'o Box

I interrupt my usual....oh wait I haven't posted in a while. HA! I'm not interrupting!

Here, please have a couple of internet video gems. You'reeee welcome! I love you!

Ohhh yes. Dumb video, kinda dumb idea. But...pretty cool!

Mariah. She was on HSN for 2 hours from MIDNIGHT TO 2AM the other night and went crazy. She yelled at the cameramen and whined a lot and sold some butterfly stuff. It was all around pretty amazing. She is my ultimate Glitt'o Queen.

Dreams really do come true

Nikki told me about it. Sean provided the camera, his dashing good looks and lots of helpful direction. Rada was the most fun and beautiful cherry I could've ever asked for. Ben and Dave helped with some of the post-production fun.

And 1 month later....45 seconds of Cherry Cranberry goodness was born.

I submitted this for the Malibu Cherry Cranberry Rum contest in hopes of winning $20,000 and about 1 month worth of bragging rights (I just made that up). If you are 21 and want to vote, go here by midnight tonight!

Yiippee skippee!

Flashback Friday

We had a glorious glorious class at Cottonwood Point Elementary School called R.E.A.D. It was an acronym for something that I can't remember but fittingly, it was a library class. R.E.A.D. was 30 minutes of pure bliss followed by 30 more minutes of bliss which was computer class (floppy disks, Oregon trail- basically a whole Flashback Friday worth of content right there).

I have vivid memories sitting on these pillow/chair/crazy creek type things and reading....FEAR STREET. The boys got their Goosebumps, we got our Fear Street. Raise your hand if you remember these! Raise your hand if you loved reading time!

FEAR STREET!

"Brady Karlin is getting on with his life. The memory of his girlfriend- killed in a gruesome sledding accident last year- is beginning to fade. Now he's met Rosha Nelson, the girl of his dreams. And now he's never been happier. Until Brady starts to see a strange figure- with a terribly scarred face- following him everywhere. Until the horrible accidents start happening- every time Rosha's around. Has dating Rosha made Brady's dreams come true? Or brought his worst nightmares back to life?"

"As the Shadyside High School prom queen candidates are brutally murdered one by one, leaving only one, everyone speculates as to whether she will be the killer's next target."

"Tina can't wait for her first college weekend at her boyfriend's college. However, when she arrives, Josh's roommate Chris is there to meet her. He tells her Josh went camping and couldn't get back in time. Tina soon becomes suspicious as Chris is a little creepy and may even be obsessed."

"Driving back from a ski weekend, Ariel, Shannon, and Doug have offered their new friend Red a ride home. When a blizzard makes the roads nearly impassable, Red leads the teens to a farmhouse where they can spend the night. Unfortunately, their shelter is not the safe haven it appears: it's residents have their own plans for Ariel and her friends."

And my absolute favorite...THE FACE.

"Why can't she remember? They say something horrible happened that day. But Martha can't remember any of it- not the smallest detail. They say it will come back to her in time. But someone wants her to remember now. She draws his face, over and over- the face of a dead boy. She can't control her hand. And she can't remember how he died. But she's going to find the answer. Even if it lies with the dead."

This actually happened

I start off most mornings in somewhat of a zombie trance: wake up, do some stuff, stumble out the door, buy coffee, chug coffee, make some TV. Repeat.

Yesterday started off like every other.

I woke up, did some stuff, did some stumbling, then proceeded to buy a very large (styrofoam) coffee from Dunkin Donuts. I only buy from DD when I don’t have any cash for the coffee man outside of my office building. This is an important fact because on these DD days, I’m forced to carry my coffee on the train. It is here where things became a problem.

I made my way onto the crowded L train, coffee in hand. (Fun fact for non-L train-morning-riders: sometimes the morning train is so crowded that you have to smash against people around you. There’s been times I’ve been so smashed that I haven’t been able to read my book because I couldn’t even lift up an arm.

Anyway…I made my way onto the crowded train. Magically, there was a seat available when I got on. I sat down and proceeded to zone out per the usual. 2 minutes into the ride, I got the brilliant idea to zip my bag that was on the ground in between my feet. Why is my bag open? My bag shouldn’t be open!

I put the (un-opened, very hot) coffee in between my legs about an inch north of my knees. With one hand on the coffee and one hand on the bag, I zipped. Ziiiip. I got to the end of the zip and then it happened...

As I went to readjust myself from leaning over, my legs tensed up and…THE COFFEE EXPLODED. By exploded I mean- my legs squeezed it so hard the styrofoam flexed and flung all 20 ounces of hot liquid into the air and onto about 8 people around me. I’m talking a volcanic explosion of epic proportions.

I screamed. Another women screamed. There was a giant splash sound as the entire 20 ounces hit the floor. Are you dying? I was dying.

I don’t even know how to end the story except to say: I thought I was straight up about to be stabbed. People have been stabbed on the train for much less. I was in a complete state of shock. People were turning their heads to see who had done it. People were wiping themselves off. I was shaking. The man in front of me was shooting daggers out of his eyes. The woman who had some on her shirt was actually about to attack. I kept feebly shouting out “I’m so sorry everyone!” “I’m so sorry!” I didn't even have a napkin to offer!

Ya… and the worst part is: there was a legit river on the ground where everyone was standing and it kept flowing back in forth as the train moved. I literally watched it reach the complete other side of the train. No one was spared. With one involuntary jerk of the legs, I covered an entire packed train of hipster L riders in my morning caffeine fix.

As I got off the train at the Union Square stop (don’t ask me why I didn’t get off earlier and move to a different car, I don’t know, I was paralyzed), I BOLTED off the train screaming I’M SORRRRY!!

Moral of the story: I took the bus this morning.

Hello, sunshine

Manhattanhendge: Happens twice a year- when the sunset aligns perfectly with the Manhattan gridline.

Awe-inspiring. Traffic-stopping.