Monday, June 14, 2010

Not a lot baby girl, just a little bit.

I'll admit it- I'm a grazer. A nibbler, if you will. I prefer to eat my food in very small portions all day long. I've been told this is very healthy of me. (Yes, uh, that was totally intentional). The thing is.. I usually want a bunch of little bites of a bunch of different food at one meal and apparently America doesn't work like that.
Damn you America with your obesity and your huge portions!! Don't you know I just want a nibble!? Like today for example, I went into Dunkin' Donuts to buy one munchkin. "Um no ma'am," I was rudely informed. "You have to buy six."
"Well I just want one. Can't I just give you a quarter or something?"

That uh didn't go over so well with Miss Dunkin and I left downtrodden, munchkinless and sad. Now I know what you're thinking, people... the register doesn't work like that. Yes, people..I know. I did spend two years behind the counter as a "customer service representative" at Blue Chip Cookie- I know how these things work. But I happen to believe that life should come with an a la cart button on the register for all of the nibblers out there. Editors note: Yes, I know, I could just buy the box of 6 and only eat one OR buy the six, eat one and be a nice co-worker and give the rest away but 1) you know I won't do that and 2) I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO BUY SIX, I ONLY WANT ONE YOU FAT FAT BRAINWASHED AMERICANS.

Which is why I want to open..(da da daaaa) Just A Bite. A restaurant where everything is served in bite sized portions. 15 bites make a meal for $12.99 (I've really figured out all the details). The menu would be packed with pages and pages of yummy bite options (each also sold a la cart for $1). The best part comes at the end of the meal when you get to pick 3 free "just one more" bites that get brought out when you're paying (or ordering dessert). Because you know you always want just one more little bite before you're truly finished.

Appetizers, soup shooters and desserts obviously come in mini-sizes as well. I know that there are about 2.6 million reasons why this business model for a restaurant would fail but shhh let me live in my nibble-sized world and dream.

I'm still craving that damn munchkin.

1 comment:

  1. You should be very careful about posting such AWESOME ideas on your blog ( you don't know who could steal it).

    I have had those Dunkin moments...because no one needs six munchkins (though I am curious--the calorie number that for SIX munchkins? One munchkin??? two munchkins???)...if you are saying that one munchkin is 60 calories, then you better only be selling me a SERVING.

    Maybe the next best approach is, like ice cream stores asking for a "taste test of a munchkin." That way you can say : I've never had that kind before and I'd really like to try it before I buy an entire box.