Glitter Me This: "From the minds of paranoid crackheads"

It's time for a little story.

Often times in the TV industry, online databases are used for the music you hear throughout your favorite shows. Production companies pay a fee to get access (and publishing rights) to the thousands of songs ranging from hundreds of different genres. Music is everything to a story so learning how to successfully navigate through the huge databases to find what you need is incredibly important. And to pick the right music, you have to worry about things like tone and pacing and timing. At times the possibilities seem endless, other times you can't find one thing that works. (It's taken some time but I've totally become a master of picking out the music)

But picking out the right music is just half of the battle. GETTING to that song is the really hard part. The search options are ridiculous- genre, tempo, instrument, era, country and mood (just to name a few). On top of that, the databases are really finicky and often times I find myself getting in yelling matches with them.

This leads me to my point. After all of the searching, you get to a list of songs. Each song has a name with a description aimed to help you get a better idea of what the track sounds like. Now, my dear Glitt'o Babes, this right here is the point of this post. The names and descriptions for these songs are the dumbest, most hilarious, most ridiculous bits of unhelpful information I have ever seen. I like to picture a guy sitting in his office whose sole job it is is to take lots of drugs and write these descriptions.

"Duuude this song sounds totally spacy and out there."

"Dude, let's call it galaxy quest and say it has a seductive slow, mysterious tempo"

"Duuuude"

In short ladies and gentleman, I have discovered my dream job. For your enjoyment, I have gathered screen shots of some of my favorites I have come across in recent months. Song name is on the left, description is on the right.

...Because who really wouldn't want a song called Butt Munch?

Then slide into a glorious pool of dark chocolate pudding? What does that feel like exactly? TAKE ME THERE.

Break out the sequins and shaking yo money maker? Whoa, how did you know what my weekend goals are?

I repeat: Wanna get wit dat dimepiece tonight.

I grouped this screen grab into one big chunk because I'm sorry...excuse me...what? "Dangerous shouty rap from the grim reaper's mean muthas. You gonna die..." Ya...totally.