Grammy's Part FOUR

Aaaaaand the Gaga performance is starting. The hibernation pod is opening. WILL SHE BE A BUTTERFLY? I see some latex. Ooooo fierce body. Wow seriously no carbs for a while have done her good. Hot hot bod.

FINALLY DANCING. Omg this is actually hot. Loving it so far. I like the ode to Madonna hair.

Oh my god you guys….she has skin shoulder pads. SKIN SHOULDER PADS. They are glued on and flash toned.

Oh god, set change???? Is it about to get weird up in this bitch? (nope false alarm) That’s a cool organ.

Naked? Has everyone gotten nakie? I like some nakie. I wonder if all the dancers are like hermaphrodites or something else groundbreaking. Can’t you see that headline? “Gaga sets the record for most hermaphrodites on a stage at one time”

Ok- that was safe? That was not groundbreaking? But actually I did like that. I’d like this show to be brought up a couple of notches though.

Miranda Lambert is beautiful and she sings with such passion buttttt…this is pretty much what DVR was invented for. FAST FORWARD.

This better get more exciting. I think it actually might be something to do with the set that is falling a little flat for me. Like these screens behind the performers feel a little disconnected. It feels like a little too stark?

Oh my god you guys seriously did you see Leann Rimes?? She looks emaciated.

Muse performance. Here we go.

Well they’re all wearing sparkle suits so…hello.

I’m not thaaat into Muse so I’d probably fast forward this too. I need more tostidos.

Ok wait- cool effects going on all the sudden. We have a falling stage and masked men fake breaking the set. Ok I like these visuals a lot. This is really theatrical.

Bruno Mars. B.O.B. Janelle Monae. Please give me something exciting.

What is it with the way Bruno Mars looks that freaks me out so bad. B.O.B. is wearing a monocle. So who is this Janelle person? I love love love her rock star hair.

BORED.

B.O.B’s looks kind of freak me out too. He kind of looks like a skinnier Dave Chappelle.

Oh whats this? Are we about to have a soul breakdown?

Hm. Black and white? Still kinda boring. But Bruno can definitely break it down. Oooo getting sexier. Ok I’m kind of liking this. Is Janelle going to come out in a red sparkly number that they’re going to add color to amongst the black and white?

Ok not red sparkles but she did rise from the stage. Who is she again? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….living in NYC kind of removes me from what is going on in the radio world.

Is she wearing adidas sambas? Throwback alert. OH NO OH NO. Crowd surfing fail. I’m still kinda bored. Maybe it’s because there haven’t been sparkles for a few minutes.

Country vocal performance award. I hate that I’m watching this live and don’t have DVR fast forward capabilities. Aw i'm happy for this cutie Miranda Lambert. Country friends...do we like her? I need to be educated.

I need a Reese's Peanut Butter Cups break...pardon me.